Christmas Time Is Here

Wow, Merry Christmas.

The post before this one is called "Thanksgiving." That's just about one month since this blog has seen any love at all, and there are four main reasons for this:

1. The Unfulfilled Desire: Human Vampirism and Vampiric Humanity in Literature and Film, by Trevor Stout

2. C6H5(CH2)2NH2: The Connotations of Sensuality and Hedonism of Chocolate in Science and Culture, by Trevor Stout

3. Holy Cross, Holy Wood: The Vera Crux in Legend, Art & Reality, by Trevor Stout

4. Lethargy

But I digress; we're back now, just in time for the holidays.


This Christmas mix is particularly ridiculous, with US Air Force PSA's from 1983, the "Nutcracker Suite" made completely from sounds created by hitting a bicycle, a song sung by a small child about "Zoomah," the Santa Claus from Mars, Madonna telling you not to drive drunk, a high school chorus doing an ill-advised, completely sung version of "Twas The Night Before Christmas," Christmas at Hogwarts, Ed Shepp being depressed, a song that I need only say is called "What Can You Get A Wookie For Christmas (When He Already Owns A Comb)?" and much, much more:

A Very Lamb Lies Down On Broadway Xmas (.zip file, click, scroll to the bottom of the page, click "free," and follow instructions to download)

1. Brian Wilson - Christmas Announcement
2. Cotton Top Mountain Sanctified Singers - Christ Was Born on Christmas Morn
3. Reind Dears - White Christmas
4. Red Flag - Ave Maria
5. Barry Gordon - Zoomah the Santa Claus from Mars
6. John Williams - Christmas at Hogwarts
7. The United States Air Force - Something Good (1983)
8. Flip - Bicycle Nutcracker Suite
9. Round Lake High School Music Department - 'Twas The Night Before Christmas
10. The Knife - Christmas Reindeer
11. Miss Frenchie - White Christmas
12. Christmas In The Stars - What Can You Get A Wookie For Christmas (When He Already Owns A Comb)?
13. Marc Bolan (T. Rex) - Xmas Message
14. Incubus - Get Your Dreidel On
15. Sir Paul McCartney vs. Jennifer Lopez - Christmas On The Block
16. Feist - Lo, How A Rose E're Blooming
17. Oh My God - This December
18. Ed Shepp - Scenes From A Life: A Lonely Christmas
19. Madonna - Don't Drive Drunk
20. PostPrior - Snow Ogre

(I feel like I should post the lyrics to that last song, because it has become my winter mantra:

Confusing Scientists
With Conscious thought and moving limbs
The sun comes out and then he melts
Only to re-form again

Avoiding Mobs and cops
Because they know not what he does
Cause this his life 'twas forged in ice
And so misunderstood

GO SNOW OGRE, POUND YOUR FISTS AND ROAR
GO SNOW OGRE, A FINE AMBASSADOR
GO SNOW OGRE, LET THE SNOWFLAKES FALL
GO SNOW OGRE, THE ICE CONSUMES US ALL

Mom and dad, are just a lab, he has no place, of residence
Alone on Christmastime

Speeding Sleds, Gingerbread, Hyper kids, packages
Rotate through his mind

In the snow, he built a fort, with fine decor and even more
The Ogre trims the tree

Down below, warmer homes, throw a bone, and telephone
Say Ogre PLAY WITH ME.

Go snow ogre, go snow ogre, go snow ogre go!
Go snow ogre, go snow ogre, pound your fists and roar
Go snow ogre, go snow ogre, go snow ogre go!
Go snow ogre, go snow ogre, a fine ambassador
Go snow ogre, go snow ogre, go snow ogre go!
Go snow ogre, go snow ogre, let the snowflakes fall
Go snow ogre, go snow ogre, go snow ogre go!
Go snow ogre, go snow ogre, the ice consumes us all.

Nuts, right?)

So, while you're at it, grab Lemon-Red's Christmas mix:

Snack & C'mish - Lemon-Red X-Mas Mix 2006 (mp3)

Here’s the tracklist:

Vince Guaraldi Trio - “Christmas Is Coming (C’mish Remix)”
Jim Jones - “Ballin’ On Xmas”
Elf Elf & Dok-Im - “My Christmas Bells (Remix)”
E-40 - “Hope I Don’t Go Back (Instrumental)”
Instant Funk - “Body Twinkle (Larry Levan Mix)”
International Music System - “Bonus Gift Single ‘Joke’”
Chil Fac Tor - “I’ll Satisfy Your Desires”
Chromeo - “Breathe (Al Dare Edit)”
Bangles - “Hazy Shade Of Winter (Santa’s Bounce Edit)”
Yello - “Jingle Bells (Interlude)”
The Knife - “Reindeer”
Faze-O - “Santa’s Riding High”
George McCrae - “I Get Lifted In A Sleigh”
Black Uhuru - “Chillout New York”
El Michels Affair - “This One’s For My Baby”
Binky Griptite - “Stone Soul Christmas”
Barrington Levy & Trinity - “Flash Your Christmas Dreads”
Afroman - “O Chronic Tree”
Kurtis Blow - “Christmas Rappin’”
Voices In The Dark - “Keep It Warm (Re-Edit)”
Bodega System - “Silver Bells”
Freeez - “Southern Freez”
Only Freak - “Can’t Get Away”
Vince Guaraldi Trio - “O Tannenbaum”

ALSO, A Christmas Story will be playing today for 24 hours on TBS, if you want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle.

Take it, Dino.